I came home today, after one week away. A few days away with Ken, then a few by myself. Time to hear my thoughts and yet not need to use my voice. It has made it extra sweet, being homesick for teenaged sons, to come home and laugh. And play. And count every bit of this lavish life as blessings from the hand of God.
I came home and I feel more like myself than – oh, maybe since I moved here. Maybe it was the time away in quiet. Maybe it’s because moving back home to America is in sight.
I’m not sure why I finally feel like me again. I just know in wilderness seasons, sometimes the most frightening thing is not what is before you or surrounds you. It’s what you can’t find within you. It’s not being able to find yourself.
The wilderness was the dictionary in which David looked up the word refuge. The meaning he found given indicated that refuge has to do mostly with God…Whatever we start out feeling or doing or thinking can lead us to God, whether directly or meanderingly. Eugene Peterson, Leap Over a Wall
I’ve been here before, usually when I’m living again in a foreign country, separated from friends, family, and a faith community. I know I emerge stronger, better able to see beauty. Better able to truly experience the blessings of God.
It is not the dead who praise the LORD, those who go down to silence; it is we who extol the LORD, both now and forevermore.
Praise the LORD. (vs 17,18)
*photo credit Amanda Armsey