I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:14-16
I can’t wait for the day when sin is no longer at work in me.
But you, God.
I continue coming to consciousness staring at myself in the mirror.
I am so tired of this fixation on the process of maturity and how long it is taking.
I struggle with patience.
I judge the pace of maturity by my failures and then become defensive about my childishness.
I attempt to measure the process of creation in myself.
But you, God.
You prove throughout each revelation you are a patient God.
You prove your ways of creating order out of chaos are incremental, an ordered process.
You are not disturbed by a linear timeline, nor are you forgetful that it is You doing the work of creation in me.
Every new step of creation, at each new layer of a maturing world, You had a proclamation!
You saw that it was good.
Your Spirit always hovering over the chaos, fashioning order and new life in our inner beings.
To judge the interior work of God against the exterior reality of personal sin still at work in me is to negate and violate the sacredness of God’s time.
and there was evening and there was morning – the second day … and there was evening and there was morning – the fifth day … Genesis 1
I ran a marathon once. Even now after all these years, I can go pound out a 10 minute mile because that was my long run pace. Step after step leading to the next mile. I don’t have to check my watch to it, the fibers of muscle remember time as they flex.
Each day after day leading to the next year, my soul has found its stride. Running with God has created spiritual muscle memory and I am at my best when I keep to the time He has established in me. Every single day God is creating. Today, as in the beginning, His Spirit hovers over the formless, empty darkness in each one of us. Maturity is not linear, but rather a broken down, built up again, broken down, built up again life that is sculpted by the hands of God.
Spiritual muscle memory.
Let’s call it faith.
We are not in control of how fast we grow up. Favored One, we must stop measuring who we are becoming and leave that to the only One who has a vision of the final outcome. To live in the freedom this faith provides means today and forever we just keep running.
This is very good.